Home
She was beatific yesterday. At peace. He held her hand as they watched the TV, 'Midsommer Murders' morphing almost seamlessly into 'The Chase'.
'What are they going on about?' she asked, her little eyes peering at the screen.
She is still alive. So tiny. Skin, so tender, so translucent it barely hides the, now weary, workings of her body. Yesterday she ate a bowl of porridge, a spoonful of blancmange and half a mug of soup. Food makes no impact upon her body but it is somehow good to know that she still wishes to eat. That there is still a hunger for something like life.
The virus is still ongoing - so we entered her room aproned, masked and gloved. Our preposterous garb has no effect on her. She is no longer curious. She climbs slowly inward, inside, into that waiting room. A little life. A little life left yet. But not much. I am humbled by her simplicity. Fascinated by her absolute lack of interest. It is not unkindness, just a blissful and complete giving over of herself to what it is. And to what is coming.
I apply for work scatter-gun style. Fear is driving me to action, any action, even though it leaves me nauseous and pride-bruised. All the while another part of me is gently whispering wait, be calm, rest, all will be well. All will be well. And into this gap, this space so softly and oh so lovingly, my creative self begins to reawaken. This is a nice thing, a good thing. Ideas for projects begin to shoot. Little shoots of green. Yes. I want to do some warm, human art. Not things - something more ephemeral. Sounds. Recordings. Stories. Saved. Preserved. An archive.
The menu in the home yesterday read: Chicken Salad with new potatoes, Pork Curry with rice, Steak Pie with country vegetables, Gooseberry Crumble with custard and Orange Cake. The weather, as someone had noted, was 'damp'.
There is a glass cabinet in the foyer of the home displaying an array of crocheted objects. Toilet roll covers, tissue box holders, coasters, gloves, socks and dolls clothes - all made from a rainbow of flourescent oranges, pinks, greens, blues and yellows. It is evident that these objects have been made to sell, as a means of raising funds. A kind gesture. The cabinet is locked against thievery.
(Image courtesy of www.manoloblog.com)
